"We Megrelians have a special deal with God, foreigners cannot understand it," says Aleksi Adamia, an electrician from Senaki. That was the starting, and not very encouraging, point of my research into burial traditions in Samegrelo. Certain religious and cultural practices are of special significance, and those related to death, such as burial and mourning customs, are definitely among these.

When I first enter a house where a Megrelian mourning is taking place, I hear a piercing scream. In the courtyard dozens of men are chatting and smoking, inside the house there is a big refridgerated coffin surrounded by women in black. Some of them howl and tear at their faces until they bleed, others just look thoughtlessly into space. I try to comfort them by saying "khvelaperi kargad ikneba" (everything will be fine) in my poor Georgian, but it seems to just make them even more depressed.

The mourning usually lasts from 4 to 10 days, depending on the region, as all Georgian traditions vary from region to region. The funeral ceremonies, sometimes including keeping the body at home for seven days before burial, the burial itself and the period of forty days after the funeral, are also crucial for the whole family and community.

Vitali Guguchia, resident of the Megrelian village of Kakhati and former director of a tea company in Samegrelo, tells a true story of what is still common in the region: "Once the deceased’s family in a neighbouring village still hadn’t buried the deceased 3 weeks after his death, because one of the mourners was coming from Moscow to say goodbye to his best friend”. Of course the Church condemns such practices, but its efforts are usually wasted because they are so deeply ingrained in the culture and mentality of the people.

Foreign tourists coming here may immediately notice that a large number of Georgians wear black. In the Orthodox Church members of the deceased's family are supposed to wear black clothes for 40 days after his death, but many wear black even for the rest of their lives. Moreover, there is a tradition of attaching small pictures of the dead person to their clothes to keep the memory of the one who has passed away alive. In almost every Megrelian house you can find a big picture of a close friend or family member who has passed away.

Georgian traditions have their roots in religion as well as culture. Gia Khasia, the head of the Atinati Association and one of the members of the Chokhosnebi Society claims, "Many cultural customs had their roots in religion, but these were eradicated in Soviet times and nowadays only some scraps remain”. One tradition which has its roots in religion but has changed over time is censing the coffin. In the past this was usually done by the priest. However in Soviet times believers were not allowed to invite priests into their homes, and therefore censed the coffin themselves. After the collapse of the Soviet Union the tradition was still observed by families alone, without anyone inviting a clergyman.

Though some of the traditions seem not to have any reasonable explanation they very much respond to the needs of the friends and family left behind. Gia Khasia says: "In fact every custom or tradition meets social or personal needs. Shouting out your emotions and tearing at your face until you bleed lightens the pain and sorrow and helps you protect yourself." During the funeral rites the family of the deceased are taken away from the grave as soon as the entombing starts. Gia gives an explanation for this: "The moment of entombing is especially hard for the closest family, as they realise this is their last opportunity to say goodbye to the beloved person. This is why their neighbours or friends prevent them from keeping in mind painful memories."

Some of the funeral traditions have become objects of amusement. Even local priests sometimes joke about the "heathen" beliefs of churchgoers. Father Ilarion Shengelia says, "Once people were asking me whether they could put in the coffin some things the deceased was especially connected with or could need in the life after death, like shoes or cigarettes. I usually recommended that they put the deceased's wife into the coffin as well. He will certainly need her support in the future, won’t he?”

"We Megrelians are very emotional, that is why you cannot always find a reason for some of our behaviour," says Khatuna Gadelia. In fact, it is difficult to understand many aspects of it, as for instance the custom collecting scraps of burnt candles and withered flowers and bringing them to the cemetery or scattering the flowers behind the hearse. "Once a friend of mine was accused of causing panic on a flight, as he was carrying his friend's ashes from Moscow to Georgia. He was stretching a thread along the gangway as a symbol of the last homecoming.”

Throughout the mourning and burial rites hardly anyone expresses belief in eternal life or redemption, the whole environment seems to be of hopelessness and resignation and a shout of pain after the passing away of a beloved person. Memories of the deceased prevail over prayers. Father Ilarion says, "At such a critical moment even the strongest believers project their inner pain over their religious beliefs". "Only a few listen to what the Church says, although they consider themselves strong believers," says Khatuna Gadelia, who has a negative attitude towards traditions without clear religious roots.

Although Georgian traditions vary from region to region, some of them are found only in Samegrelo. According to Rusudan Kalichava, Executive Director of the Atinati Association, there are two traditions that make Samegrelo differ from other Georgian regions. The first is the ingrained tradition of neighbourhood cooperation at the burial rites. Neighbours and fellow villagers or townsfolk take responsibility for performing all the customs and rites directly after the death. They host the bereaved, gear up for the commemorative feast after the burial and dig the grave. According to tradition the gravedigger then becomes a member of the deceased's family and is especially respected in the village.

The Megrelian wake usually takes place in the house of the deceased, with the body present. The bereaved observe the tradition of drinking wine, eating fasting food and commemorating the deceased in toasts. In former times this was the sign of a cordial welcome for guests coming to the mourning and funeral from far away on foot. However, modern wakes are often performed at a relative’s home after the ceremony. "We Megrelians are much more emotional than others in Georgia. This may be annoying or irritating to outsiders, but it is a part of our local identity," Gogi Guguchia admits. Mourning and burial traditions are particularly strongly embedded in this culture, although each and every village and region has different ways of practicing them. "Even members of the same village have different opinions on the right ways of bidding farewell to the deceased. If you combined them all you would end up with a colourful fan of traditions and beliefs, but you won’t be able to bury the deceased with it,” says Keti Mekhrishvili, a psycholgist from Surami who has moved to Samegrelo.

After the burial rites families try to remember and respect the person who has passed away by lighting candles in churches, visiting cemeteries, remembering significant events in their lives involving that person, toasting the deceased and their achievements at dedicated feasts and sometimes observing special customs such as keeping at home the “sign”- the personal belongings - of the person for one year after their death.

Gia Khasia and Rusiko Kalichava are more than sure that these traditions won’t be lost. "These traditions were with us whenever we went to church together, whenever we celebrated public or religious holidays together,” says Rusiko. People have the right to observe and practice their religion and enjoy their culture. For many people freedom to do so is of fundamental importance to their dignity, moral integrity and emotional well-being.